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Up0
At 35, I am probably at least a few standard deviations older than the mean age of this forum, but I thought I’d put this out there and see if anyone can relate or offer advice.
Is anybody else finding that studying for the CFA is lowering their parenting skills just a smidge below “Father/Mother of the Year” caliber? I guess this subject can be applied to relationships generally, but there seems to be something different about the parent-kid relationship.
There’s obviously the time commitment and being away from them, which is a source of some guilt. I actually find it easier to be out of the house when I’m studying because a) it is difficult to concentrate when little people are trying to climb on you and b) it’s not really fair to them to be “present” but completely disengaged. Even still, every time my 3-year old son sees me about to walk out the door with a stack of books and says “Don’t go to work, Daddy”, a little part of me dies.
I also worry that generally being consumed by wrestling with difficult material (in addition to life’s other trivialities) having a less than desirable effect on me. The other night, my son was being difficult and I had to let him know that what he was doing was wrong, which is a euphamism that parents use for “Oh, you think it’s easy to let the world know that you lost your temper and made a toddler cry?”. He was being objectively difficult by doing something that he had been repeatedly asked very nicely not to do, but I can’t help but wonder if I would have handled this and other situations better without the persistent stress that comes with being a CFA candidate.
Having said all that, yes, it was much easier to study for the exams I wrote pre-kids, but opening up my books and seeing that a bunch of incoherent highlighter scribbles does provide a useful reminder of why I am doing this in the first place.
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Up2
I can offer my own story of when my dad was always busy with work/studying when I was a kid. :)>-
To offer some background my dad is a professor so when I was a kid and he was building his career he was always either studying or marking papers!
He would pacify me with giving me my “own” textbook to write (scribble) in and sat he down beside him and told me that this was serious work. He gave me the same stuff he would use so that would make me happy. He gave me a legitimate textbook and the very same pens/markers he would be using.
I think I was about the same age as your son back then.
I was totally conned….. -
Up2
A bit late to this thread but I really appreciate the reflection. My wife and I have 5, so far, and every one of them around age 3 has hit the “Daddy, don’t go to work today” stage. So far, they’ve all moved past it by age 5.
Not looking forward to less time with the family but increasingly certain this is the right next step.
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Up0
Marc,
It seems you and I are in the same boat, I too am 35 and studying with two little ones (well, 4 and 8) around and feel like my parenting skills have gone down since studying went up. I keep hanging on to the comment that, right now, with studying and working hard I am being a really good role model to my two girls. That helps a bit, although its heartbreaking when I depart to go study on the weekends and the 4-year just wants that one extra hug because she’ll “miss you mummy”. -
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